Kongsfordshire.

Well, everyone was right - I am taller than most everyone here, and at a measly 5'9"! HA! Hong Kong is a most amazing city and, like the Grand Canyon, is difficult to describe to those who have not seen it themselves. However, I will try. Because, uh, that's what the blog is for.

Hong Kong Island is a relatively small island (you can drive all the way around it in about an hour or so) situated just south of the New Territories, which also comprises the Special Administrative Region. The city of Hong Kong, therefore, is just one part of the SAR, and the rest of the island is more suburban or even undeveloped. Due to the steep hills and peaks on all the islands, development is limited mostly to the areas along the water, so the center of the island is essentially forests and parks and such, and smaller towns and beaches encircle it along the coast. The city lies at the north end, and it is very close to the mainland - you can take a ferry to Kowloon which is only about a five-minute journey across the harbor.

The city itself is a dense, three-dimensional tapestry of tall buildings, new and old, rising up into the sky and up along Victoria Peak. At a certain point, however, the peak becomes too steep for development, and the city gives way to the green and rocky peak. The peak itself is only slightly developed, reserved for mansions that are surely worth a fortune. One can take a tram up to Victoria Peak, where there are observatories, some shopping, and paths around the peak that wind their way through the vegetation and along the entrances to the residences; from there, one can look down on the whole of the city as it falls to the waters edge. Beyond the city lies the massive harbor, filled with boats and ships of every type, and the New Territories rise up on the other side. Needless to say, it is an absolutely incredible view. Being from Miami, and living in New York, I am sure I have a special affinity for large cities that lie on the water, but I imagine that Hong Kong would impress anyone regardless of their city of origin. The density, height, and architectural diversity of the offices, hotels, and residences is difficult to describe. At night, several of the buildings light up in a most futuristic fashion, and if I am ever able to a) download my Nikon crap onto the laptop and b) figga out how to put photos on my damn blog, you will see it for yourself on...Press Five Now. Yes.

The city itself is a maze (though an easily navigable one) of wide boulevards, winding streets, suspended walkways, stairwells, and escalators. I get the impression that MC Escher and the guy who invented Chutes and Ladders got together to design this place, along with help from the Life-Size Human Rube Goldberg Machine Society. I find myself walking up and down stairwells, along an escalator, through a suspended shopping mall and across a suspended covered walkway, and down into more narrow, winding inclines. One can be walking along a busy street filled with traffic of every sort, mobile phone stores and department stores and so on, then walk a half-block north and immediately be on a packed, dense street filled with little markets selling herbs, vegetables, fish and meat, and lots of other food-type products, the identity of which I can only guess. I saw a lot of this in Bangkok, too, but not with the added element of a huge city - it's like Times Square has been seamlessly blended with Bangkok markets. New York has many of these qualities as well, but due to the flatness of the city and the lower population density, New York feels like LA - total sprawl. Imagine packing Tribeca, the Finance District, Times Square, Chinatown, and the South Street Seaport into an area the size of just one of those 'hoods, and that's an approximation of what the city is like. Except ya gotta make it all steep and shit too, and add mad walkways and stairs and stuff.

The city is also clean and safe; on my first night here, I unpacked and took a walk around the neighborhood at about midnight and felt completely safe. There are always people everywhere, no matter where you are or what time it is, and the numbers of homeless people seem very low relative to the overall populace. You see trash here and there, but people mostly take care of their surroundings and you can notice the difference between Hong Kong and your average US city. I mean, it's no Singapore, but at least you won't get caned for hocking a fat loogie on the street in HK. I think someone mentioned that you can now chew gum in Singapore - hooray! - but it has to be some kind of special gum. Boooo! Given how strict Singapore is, I'm thinking that the brand of gum that is allowed is not Bubbilicious, the Ultimate Bubble with, of course, the Ultimate Flavor. Remember that commercial?

But how could I forget...the heat and humidity? They are, at this time of the year, the city's best friends and confidantes, enjoying their last days of summer together before the heat and humidity go off to college somewhere and Hong Kong goes back to working for his pops. For some reason, I brought this red and beige checked shirt which, as I found out during the last Humbuckers gig at Teddy's, reallllly shows the sweat. It darkens like a mofo, and when I wore it out on my second day, my entire back was dark brown by the time I reached the top of the Mid-Level Escalators (I'll get to that in a moment). Having a big ol' gut as well, though, the front of my shirt got equally jacked. I must have looked like an idiot - but it's so much easier to not give a shit when you don't know anyone and you're not in pretentious-ass New York City (I'll get to that as well - I'm sorry to report that NYC, well, it sucks. The people in New York give a shit about stupid stuff, like what you wear, how much flava you pack, how big your ipod is, and all this other joke-ass shit. People here want to down pints and talk about whatever. Luckily, most of you readers do not represent this side of New York, but...yeah, NYC is about ten times more wack that it thinks, and it's really funny. I mean, the snottiest people at the bars here are the whores - I'm not shitting you - and you KNOW that attitude be changin' as soon as you start running some game with a breezy. No, I have not run any game with any ho-breezys - but I know what effect money has on a hizzno. They chat and do other stuff).

So yeah, it's hot as hell and I'm sweating in like the first 2 minutes of my (thankfully short) 7-minute walk to work. A-d0gg, it appears that our friend Ballsweaticus has been replaced by his brother Everythingsweaticus, better known to his main niggas as Allsweaticus. I have been informed by the expats with whom I drank on Friday that the heat is just a fact of life, everyone knows it, and body odor is just something you tote along to the bars without a hint of embarrassment or compunction.

Ok, I need to go to work for a bit. Sunday, I know, it sux. But only for a couple hours. Then it's off to Kowloon!

More later,

Chucky Brown, The Journeyman