Just a random quick post since I'm all sick and can't quite deal on the big China post right now. The other dayI found myself chuckling at the funny spam messages - the names of the "people" from which they come are always a hoot as well - but I decided to cut and paste every spam subject header that was in my Deleted Items folder into a single paragraph, separated by periods (or their own punctuation if the subject had punctuation already). So, here's the freaky completed spam message:

Do you hate traffic cameras? You need a larger penis. 2 pharmacies here, 2day shipping. Valium for you, cheap Neilsen. Shed those pounds! Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the titanic. Write me back please. Are you looking for fisting sex?It's illegal to use hacked Microsoft office. Have pain medications delivered right to your door! Inexpensive Valium. Refinance or woo you. Make the banker woo you! Your mortgage payment is due. Warning: your membership expires August 18. Please confirm everything. Could this stock rock? The next grand slam stock? Women love men that take the blue pill - working! NewPumpkin loaf pan from Williams-Sonoma.

It gets a little boring but the first few 'sentences' and the last couple are pretty funny. Do you hate traffic cameras? You need a larger penis. Oh, of course! That would definitely diminish my hate of traffic cameras.

ok, so this one was weak...but whatever, I'll take my shit more seriously when I upgrade to Typepad. Someday.

Things are mellow here this weekend - went out Friday night despite a bout of bronchitis and had a pretty good time. Met B at Stormy Weather and had a couple beers, then went to dinner at California with his girlfriend, a few other folks from Georgetown (cool and friendly), and some other reporters from his company with whom B works, including this little hotty Thai chick who was visiting from another office. After dinner we headed to this cool little bar above Rat Alley (a tucked-away alley that is full of - I shit you not - restaurants) called Les Jardines, I think. That's when it got a little random - tequila shots, beers, champagne...I cackled at a couple who broke a glass when they were getting up to leave, then managed to do it myself a couple hours later when I reached too quickly for my beer. Neat. The details are hazy, but I had a nice conversation with B's girl and of course continued to make time with Madame Chow, to little avail. Whatever. She kept glancing downward when we talked, which I realized was just a little quirk of hers but it made me think she was constantly checking my gut. That's the kind of gut-check that one does not need.

I woke up the next morning with my clothes in a pile by the couch and my contacts still in. 8.30. Shit. The hangover prevented me from going back to sleep so I just started my day. Dude - I was so randy (I get super-randy when I'm hung over) that I grabbed this woman's card to call her. Fucking idiot. Thank God she didn't have a mobile number. So then I call B to wake his ass up - I have no idea why, I think maybe I was going to try to get her mobile from him - and I think maybe I pissed him off but fuck it. Like I said, I was in idiot mode. Managed to get a haircut ("you look very tired, do you need some coffee?"), do some shopping, hit the cleaners, and head to the gym for some steam and a kick-ASS massage. Damn, that shit felt good. I could not stop thinking about fucking, though, so I had to constantly do mental exercises to de-bonerize. My mind would drift back to the randifical thoughts, the engorgement would commence, and I would again have to think about car accidents or something to tame the wood. Oh well - I'm still not buying any whores, fuck that. No crack, no smack, no whores from the track. Three simple goals for a good life in Hong Kong.

Aight peace.
Chucky