Back in the Saddle Again

At first glance, the title of this post seems completely trite and clichéd – however, the only reason I named the post “Back in the Saddle” was to get you cats and breezys to pull out your old Aerosmith record and listen to them ROCK! You know you love that guitar riff – who doesn’t? And that was when Aerosmith was truly rockin’ – which makes me wonder what those guys would think if you went back in time with, like, “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” (or whatever that song is called, the one they did for Armageddon) and told them that, one day, they were going to record that sappy crap. They’d be like, “Naw, man, we’re always going to rock” and you’d be like “Oh yes you will, that’s you guys” and they’d be like “Oh shit” and you’d be like, “Well, you’ve already done ‘Dream on’, the most overrated rock ballad of all time, so you’re already on your way to this sappiness” and they’d be like…never mind.

So I’m back in the Kongsfordsire, Honkers, H to the K, and you know it doesn’t stand for Heckler & Koch even though it’s a banger. It’s pretty eerie at times. Total déjà vu in the apartment. I was online yesterday, registering for some of the porno sites that will keep me faithful – and in full wack mode – during my stay here, and everything on TV seems just the same – ads for A Man Apart, the HK Adventure Race, CSI Miami, The Amazing Race, etc and the ubiquitous AXN TV theme song. Had my traditional bachelor’s lunch of pate, bread, and salmon, although this time I added in the delicious tomatoes from my Brooklyn backyard that FB threw in my bag before I left. Yes, that is how I get down. Fresh tomatoes from our plants in Broo-kyln. Not too freakin’ bad.

So what can I tell you? Not much has happened so far that I would deem worthy of a post. Flight canceled on Sunday, spent all day at JFK on Monday (6.30am – 8.00pm) waiting for our flight to take off, ate about 20 of those little sandwiches that they give you in the Business Class lounge, along with some Xanax, a glass of Martell, a Stella or two, and some Jack and ginger to keep me patient and well-lubed. Saved the victors for the flight, and I was thankful to enjoy the groovy, Vicodinny sleep during the journey over here.

It’s not as hot as I thought it would be, which is nice, though I’m sure I’ll have some visits from Ballsweaticus at some point. Not getting off that easy. Gotta wear a suit tomorrow for a lunch I’m attending with a reporter, and that will su-uck. Perhaps I can go in super-early when the humidity is at 90 or so instead of the full 100. Sounds hotter in NYC at the moment, though, so I’m not complaining. Yesterday was my recovery/setup day, so I got up at 11 or so after going to bed at like 4am and got all this crap done – went to the various grocery stores, got my haircut, hit the bank, boring shit like that. I realized yesterday that I overtip. Gotta work on that. Not the worst habit in the world, but I needs all the money I can get so my babies can buy all the VS2 clarity diamond watches and super bambotches and Heckler and Koch’s and choppers fresh out the boxes that they want. Come on, you know you were going to be getting an E40 reference in the first post. My fanaticism doth not fadeth over time. I bet he’s going to drop a record while I’m out here, thus forcing one of my various visitors to bring it to me from the US. They aren’t as far behind in the movie releases as I thought, though – War of Tom Cruise’s Ballsac and Herbie is Fully Pumpin a Load Into Lohan are both just leaving the theater, and like Madagascar and shit like that are in the theaters now. There’s a Chinese film called Seven Swords that looks good.

Ok, gotta pee real bad and get some lunch. Smell you in a bit.

I’m back, though there’s not much to say at this point. I miss my baby pretty bad at times. Got the full pillowbody in effect – the beds here have four pillows, consequently enabling me to craft a little body and head with a couple of the pillows. I feel like Homer when he made that fake Marge out of a cactus or something. I haven’t seen the Simpsons in a long time, despite having just left the US. Just not a priority for me anymore. Used to be that I quoted the Simpseaux every day, at least once a day, and now I just don’t have the time to keep up – and let’s face it, the jokes are old. I can still whip them out from time to time, though.

Ok, more later.
Chucky